Throughout my last year of college, the hardest thing I ever have to do was trying to get out of bed. No, I’m not just lazy nor do I feel like not going. It’s because I couldn’t bring myself to do it. My bones felt heavy, like weights, and along with that I felt like I was tied up in my bed.
You may wonder why, the answer is simple, I was going through depression.
Something that I wanna discuss on my blog for the longest time is about mental health. I’m writing this in order to spread awareness about mental issues and hopefully to inspire people to talk more about it.
Early this year, I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and Anxiety Disorder. I’ve known now for a few years that I was suffering from depression but it took me a while to realize that I needed professional help. It’s because it took years for me to have the courage to talk to my parents about my sufferings.
Depression isn’t just about feeling sad. I wish it’s as simple as that, but it’s not. It’s crying all of a sudden without knowing why, it’s feeling empty but heavy at the same time, some days you may feel numb like you don’t even exist, it’s feeling exhausted even when all you did was sleep, it’s feeling guilty and worthless, it’s self destruction.
It is everything but never romantic, cute or trendy.
I remember a night from college where I just sit in front of my computer at four a.m. crying because my anxiety wants me to start doing my assignments and worrying badly that I might fail my class if I don’t do it. But no matter how much I wanted to do it, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything but cry because everything felt heavy.
Depression is silent, you may not know but someone close to you may be fighting their own battle. It’s more common than how we thought it is. So, here are some things that I came up with how you can help someone who’s going through a depressive episode, anxiety or any other mental illness (it worked for me!):
If you’re reading this and may feel like you’re going through a mental illness, please seek professional help or talk to someone you trust about it. Also, if you need anyone to talk to or someone who will listen, message me on my social media accounts, I’m here to talk and remember, you are not alone.
PS don’t worry about me I’m better now and getting the support and help that I need.
PPS Thank you for the people (Mama, Papa, Zophie, Stephen, Mommy Susan, Tito Jho, Tita Andrea, Brien, Reina, Thea, and Jae) who help me get through the toughest times, for understanding, endless support and never giving up on me.
Sandals from Guess
Sunglasses from Prada